FOR SOME REASON..........

    There has been a lapse in my posts to this blog, for some reason.

    So many times in the past couple of months I've compsed blogs in my head, but somehow never posted them. The day David and I spoke via SKYPE with Susan , a Peace Corps volunteer currently serving in Armenia, filled my head to overflowing with impressions of what Dave and I would soon experience and jogged our memories of what we left behind in Niger. ( A blog in the making, I thought.) Susan described life in Armenia, her living arrangements, her work teaching English as a foreign language, the weather, what to pack and not to pack, and all about her new friends in the Peace Corps and about her host family.  We had also been e-mailing a former Peace Corps volunteer who shared letters she wrote for her friends and family during the 2 years she served in Armenia. All of this was so inspiring, but I did not write the blog...............for some reason.

       Then I researched to which country  each of our Niger 2010 group had been invited and found that most of us were already in a new country or departing soon for destinations all over the world.  As I looked at photos on Facebook or received e-mails from other people, I thought of what we had all shared together in Niger. We were considered to be "the hardcore Peace Corps" due to the nature of our country of service, Niger.  True, most of the group were young enough to be our grandchildren, yet we felt connected due to our mutual experiences, both harsh and joyful. In sickness and in health, those familiar words taken from another type of bonding, could also describe our relationship as a group. As I recalled each person, it dawned on me that we'd probably not see these people again although comments regarding a reunion had already begun. An entire blog filled my head again, but I did not write it down..... for some reason.

       And then as we traveled awating departure for Armenia June 1, we visited many relatives and friends. Most were curious about our experiences and most were amazed that we'd willingly return to Niger if that opportunity was available. My sister even expressed admiration for our courage, which made us a bit embarrassed.   People were even more surprised that we'd start over, learn a new language and begin another 27 month commitment in a totally different country. We met many people who are fascinated with the idea of joining the Peace Corps but would not or could not do it themselves. Many know others who have children or acquaintances  in the Peace Corps, and a few wish they had joined when they themselves were younger. We also encountered people who think the Peace Corps is a waste of US dollars and that volunteers should do their work at home. Our world grows smaller every day and a Peace Corps experience speeds the diminishing distance between cultures quite nicely.  This subject also holds blog potential. It has not been developed even when time might allow....... for some reason.

        As David and I visit with our daughter, we have also been attending numerous and varied concerts because we missed music so much while in Niger. One evening after a local concert perfomed in one of Wilmington, NC's beautiful historic mansions, the singer , Susan Savia, greeted us. She had heard us mention being in the Peace Corps and wanted to give us a children's CD she was recording so that her voice could be heard by the Armenian children. Another blog , about how music influences lives and the cultural aspect of sharing it with children ,was not written......for some reason.

         That same evening , I recognized a local radio personality and approached her during intermission to  say how much I enjoyed her show and what a  delightful voice she had. She has a beautiful speaking voice and uses it perfectly in introducing music and conducting on-air interviews.  She warmly thanked me for speaking to her and before I could respond, she had turned her back to me, calling to another concert goer asking,  "don't I know you from somewhere?" Though I'm certain there was no intention to do so, I was crushed at instantly being brushed off. I'm not even sure what I thought we'd talk about further, but that short 2 minute encounter spoke not so eloquently of how unimportant I was. An emerging  blog swirled in my head and awaited creation.The title might have been "Don't take yourself so seriously or think you are so important".  It has not been composed ........for some reason.

            Then just last night , I was reading in materials provided by the Peace Corps about some of the challenges of returning home after service  in a foreign country.  I began to understand a bit more about this phenomenon of "return home" and the issues that may arise even after a brief period of time such as David and I had due to our evacuation from Niger. The article said that the sudden return to anonymity sometimes  causes the returned Peace Corps volunteer to acutely miss being the center of attention. The volunteer misses the excitement,  intense scrutiny by villagers, and the "fishbowl" life once surrouding them  in a village .  That's probably why I felt miffed during the experience previously described at the concert. I was still feeling special, still being Sherifa as I had been in Niger, still expecting people to recognize me. In Niger,  I stood out as an American woman  who was a Peace Corps volunteer and everyone in the village knew that.   Back home, I am not Sherifa, am not special , and most people do not even know me.  Much more could be said about this subject of  how one transitions and returns to their native country after living in another culture, but it's not written yet .....for some reason.
     
       Finally, an unexpected e-mail appeared in my in-box this week. It prompted a quick response -----and a blog. That blog will be written and will be posted soon.     Stay tuned, and thanks for keeping up with this journey to Niger then Armenia with the Peace Corps.    Judy
                         

FINDING HOME

       “Home is any place I hang my hat”. These thought-provoking lyrics were heard by Dave and me at a recent cabaret performance in Wilmington, NC, while we are staying with our daughter, before departure to Armenia with the Peace Corps. The song sounded like a true Peace Corps description of home, especially for volunteers who move from one country to another and establish homes in new towns and villages all over the world.
       
         Dave and I had recently talked about where home was for us and where home might be after the Peace Corp, both the physical place and the emotional feel of home. We agreed that the meaning of home differs dramatically based upon a person’s particular life experiences and emotional make-up. Dave says that the more places you feel at home, the more connected you are with the world, or the more comfortable you are with yourself. As I write this blog, we are driving from one of our former homes to 2 others (from Wilmington, NC/Kure Beach to Memphis and Clarksville, TN). On varying levels, we each identify these places as homes where one or both of us lived previously. But could we go back? It’s been said that “home is where the heart is.” Would our hearts immediately be back in these homes, or would our heads come into play and become stronger influences than our emotions? Is it possible to have 2 or more homes at once or must home be a singular entity? What do you think?

          “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” is a familiar seasonal song conjuring up both sentimental thoughts and early travel plans. In a column written in the Church Health Reader by Dr.G. Scott Morris, MD, founder and medical director of the Church Health Center in Memphis, TN, he mentions going home for holidays, sometimes to a dysfunctional family, and due to family tradition or a sense of responsibility. Although there is merit to maintaining ties to family, the feel of those home comings is not always warm and fuzzy even when greeted by hugs and kisses. The trip home is not always comfortable for a variety of reasons.
When we visit my elderly father, he always says, “this is your home so do whatever you want to.” (I’ve actually said the same thing when our adult children visit us!) I understand my father’s feelings because he has lived in the same house for over fifty five years and in the same town even longer. He has traveled very little aside from going to the Pacific theater during WW II. The house Dave and I visit is truly my father’s home; it is no longer mine, yet I do have memories of it being home as I grew up.

        Dr. Morris suggests that one’s church home can be a place where a person feels they’ve made a place for themselves that is right. I think it is a home where unconditional love and a sense of peace is felt, no matter who you are. Can a person move to a new physical home in the world and feel at home in a church there? Maybe it is possible, if the concept of church home is based on the idea of a religious community and not tied to a particular building or place. Dave and I had a church home in Memphis since the late 60’s and we just recently visited it. We felt an overwhelming connection to the people we had known and not seen for several years. We knew we had made a place for ourselves in previous years of membership and we truly felt welcomed and loved when we returned. We have not found a church home like this one since. Dr. Morris’s wife, Mary, says that by connecting to those we love and who we want to spend time with, we can create our own sense of home. Maybe Dave and I need to work harder on making those connections in a new church in the future.

        As Peace Corps volunteers, we already felt at home in Niger after being there only 3 months prior to our evacuation. Acceptance and respect were there. Our Nigerien villagers were protective and caring towards us, and yes, we felt a sense of peace at the end of a hot day as we lay down under the brilliant star-covered sky. In Africa we slept outside without fear; we were half the way around the world, and we felt at home. During dinner with long term friends recently, one of them asked us about our current nomadic life and how it felt to not have what he considered to be a “home”. Dave said it did not bother him; I said I missed that feeling.

         Over the years, we have felt at home wherever we have lived and now eagerly await June 1 when we begin the search for a home anew, in Armenia. Since we sold our physical properties before moving to North Carolina, then rented there, we joke of being homeless or living the life of nomads. Our Peace Corps home of record (HOR) is in Las Vegas with our son. Our mailing address is a PO Box in Kure Beach, NC, and we are staying with various family members and friends in THEIR homes in the meantime. Our friends and family wonder about us and say they have difficulty keeping up with our whereabouts. Thank goodness for internet and cell phones, Skype, text messaging and Facebook! We hope to soon “hang our hat” in our new home in Armenia for at least twenty seven months. The US will always be our global home, but “where our hearts lie” will vary from our childhood homes to the many we’ve shared over the years as adults. Home is truly where you make it, where you feel comfortable and where peace and contentment prevail. It can change, but will always be inside of you. You’ll know when you are home. It will be a home and not just a place to stay. For us it will be where we both “hang our hats”.

              As you read this blog, are you at home?
Judy and Dave

Reference: http://www.churchhealthreader.org to read more of Dr. G. Scott Morris’ columns

Happy Anniversary! Peace Corps ..... 50 years and still counting!

I had not meant to add another post to this blog today, however, lunch with special friends prompted me to do so.  While basically “hanging out” awaiting our next Peace Corps assignment, I have been re-connecting with old friends wherever we go. Today, as my musician friends and I settled into a booth at a favorite seafood restaurant, Ted said,” it’s significant that we met today because I read in the newspaper that on this day, March 1, fifty years ago, President John F. Kennedy signed an executive order establishing the Peace Corps”.   I was pleasantly surprised. I certainly knew the Peace Corps was celebrating its 50^th anniversary this year but did not know today was the date. What a perfect day to talk with friends about my Peace Corps experiences!  There was also an added comment about the recent death of the first Peace Corps Director, Sargeant Shriver, so it would be an informal tribute to 2 related events within the same year.

 Sargeant  Shriver ‘s death occurred in January while our Peace Corps stage was meeting in Morocco, after our evacuation from Niger. That time seems so long ago now, yet it was only 6 weeks ago. Where has the time gone?  How surreal it seems to be back in the US yet still feel connected to the experiences in Niger. Our evacuation was a significant event during our brief time in the Peace Corps but so vivid are the details of how it was handled.  I recall that as we left the Rabat, Morocco, hotel in the dark of night and headed to the airport in Casablanca , brilliant blue flashing lights of the Moroccan police escort  were visible from the bus’s window. Now, it is a bit more frightening to think of that night in the dark when none of us really knew all that was happening or exactly where we were headed in our Peace Corps future.  A book written by Mark Jenkins entitled TIMBUKTU about 4 adventurous young men kayaking down the Niger River in an attempt to reach Timbuktu, contains the following statement about darkness.  ‘’ The darkness can shake you. Darkness makes everything monstrous and foreboding. What you can not see you imagine and what you imagine is more terrible than what exists. There is reason to teach your children not to be afraid of the dark. To overcome the fear of the dark is to overcome the fear of the unknown which is to overcome fear itself.”  As our bus rolled on through the darkness that was night in Morocco, we eventually reached the lights at the airport and began the process so familiar at airports-- check-in, ID check, security screening, and all the rest.  The immediate unknown became apparent; we were not afraid anymore and did what had to be done as we boarded planes back to our US destinations.

As my friends and I ate lunch today, they plied me with questions about life in Niger. I told them of the good and the unpleasant, always adding that I’d never trade the experience and would return there if the opportunity presented itself.  They, as most people who’ve heard about Niger, cannot believe most of what they hear. We laughed at my description of bucket baths, donkey cart rides, and fractured efforts at speaking the local language with villagers. There were more serious responses when I described the health risks, nutritional deficits, and harsh climate we encountered and which the locals dealt with for a lifetime. There were mixed reactions when I tried to explain why the Peace Corps would even send volunteers to a country which, even with Peace Corps service since 1962, still has made so little progress on the United Nations Human Index Scale.   My friends today voiced many of the same questions and concerns of our family and other friends with whom we’ve spoken and visited.  They have legitimate issues and I do not feel fully prepared to respond to all of them in an effective way. However, Goal #2 of the Peace Corps involves sharing information about the culture of Niger with others in the US. All Peace Corps volunteers are expected to share their experiences in any way possible. I am willing to talk about Niger and its people with anyone willing to listen. Writing about the subject is also a prime option.  Today, the luncheon with my friends brings this goal #2 to life. What better day to recognize that fact than on March 1 , the anniversary of the founding of the Peace Corps.   Judy and Dave

CHANGE IS IN THE AIR.........................................

Good-bye from Nassirou and Sherifa.   These Nigerien names were given to Dave and me by our host family in Niger and are now sadly dropped since we are no longer Peace Corps volunteers in that country.  Evacuation from a place included evacuation from a persona.  I miss being Sherifa. The name sounded crisp and friendly when children called to me across a dusty village pathway or as Dave and I walked through the desert to Tondobon, the Peace Corps Niger training site.  Dave had a neutral feeling about being called Nassirou, but he readily responded to the calls of “Fo fo” (hello) which were frequently heard when we were out in the village.

These names ,  Nassirou and Sherifa, were additional efforts made towards total immersion into a different culture.  Just as wearing locally made clothing,  learning the local language, eating Nigerien food, and practicing culturally acceptable manners and behaviors helped to bridge the inevitable cultural gap, identifying oneself as Nassirou and Sherifa  signified that we wanted to be a part of our village. Peace Corps (and we) believe this is the best way to gain acceptance and respect , as well as participation in meaningful  work and projects, in a new community so different from our own.

Now that Dave and I are evacuees from Niger, we no longer say “Ay ma Nassirou” or “Ay ma Sherifa” when someone asks us our name.  We are now David and Judy, immersed back into life in America. We must now fit back into the culture here. We must pay attention to our attire (no Zaras ),  speak  English(not Zarma), eat American foods (not millet and rice at every meal) and we must refrain from culturally acceptable practices which are unthinkable here. (Example: burping loudly after a meal to express satiation and appreciation.)

We will not forget Nassirou and Sherifa . We will always be Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCV) from Niger. The memories of our experience in Niger, though brief , will always be with us.  Instead, we’ll bid Nassirou and Sherifa a fond and poignant farewell.  As our Peace Corps training manager, Tondi, once told us, “Everyone who leaves Niger wants to return because they left a part of their heart in our country.”    We agree, and we would return to Niger in a New York second if given the opportunity. 

Good-bye Nassirou and Sherifa………for now.            HELLO ARMENIA!

     “Get out!”   Dave and I are at the movies watching the highly acclaimed movie “The King’s Speech” when  King George VI’s speech therapist was told  to exit Westminster Abbey by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

     My mind jumps to Niger where we had been living prior to January 21 and our abrupt evacuation by the Peace Corps  due to safety and security issues. Fatta!  Sobay!  These are the words for “leave” or “get out” in the Zarma language we were learning while serving with the Peace Corps. However, now Dave and I are back in the US awaiting another Peace Corps assignment and  memories of Niger keep surfacing.

         As I sit in this US movie theater, I keep thinking of Niger and its people we left behind, and the new friends we made with Peace Corps volunteers all of whom are now scattered over the world, probably never to be seen again by Dave and me.  My mind snaps back to the movie as King George VI, brilliantly portrayed by Colin Firth, prepares to deliver the speech of his life. He is desperately trying to overcome a lifelong problem with stammering, as he addresses his countrymen during WWII.  When the king’s speech therapist assures him that the speech he will deliver is only 9 minutes long----I immediately think of Dan, the young Peace Corps volunteer who delivered a speech at our Peace Corps swearing-in ceremony only slightly over a month ago. His speech was in Zarma language and was also 9 minutes in length. Dan had no problem with delivery and had no speech therapist to prompt him as he spoke eloquently to several hundred people in the language he had learned in only 9 weeks of training.  There was Niger again, returning to haunt me with a reminder that our experience in the Peace Corps though short in time and abruptly terminated, will be influential the remainder of our lives.

Someone said “good morning, how are you?” at the grocery store yesterday. I almost said , “bani samay walla” or “in health” in Zarma language. I see children in my son’s neighborhood as they ride their bikes and play with toys received at Christmas. I think of the children in our Nigerien village happily playing all day with nothing but each other or making simple toys from jar lids and sticks. At my son’s home we fuss because the water in the shower is not hot long enough, which makes me stop and think of Niger, our bucket baths and the water only as warm as the sun could heat it during the day.

    Now it is cold all across the US with blizzards, snow storms and stranded travelers making the news. Niger will soon be entering its hot season, then the rainy season. Every place in the world experiences weather and climate challenges, but I think of Niger as I add an extra layer of clothing to keep warm in the US.

      As Dave and I re-adjust to the life we once lived in the US, we eat out, attend a stage show, and shop in well-stocked stores buying whatever we need or want. Do we feel guilty because our time in Niger exposed us to 3rd world poverty and lack of all but the basics in life, then we return here to comforts and luxury?  Of course we feel a sense of ambivalence when we think of how other people live in the world.  But----our thoughts are also of extreme appreciation and gratefulness for the life we do have, and for the opportunities available to us.  One of our strongest appreciations is for the strength and ability to serve those less fortunate, those who were dealt a different deck of cards in life, so to speak. It is through this thought  process and willingness to serve  that we await another assignment with the Peace Corps.    Kala Suru!  or   have patience as the Nigerien people say in Zarma language.       Judy and Dave

        

    

      

 

"FOR THE GOOD TIME"

   During our flight from Frankfurt to Chicago , I happened to listen to Johnny Cash sing "For the Good Time", a Kris Kristopherson song and one Cash had chosen for his final American Recording album.  The opening words seem to express some of the feelings I was experiencing about Dave and my abrupt departure from Niger.
                     
                           Don't look so sad, I know it's over,
                            But life goes on, this old world will keep on turning.
                           Let's just be glad we had some time to spend together,
                           There's no need to watch the bridges that we're burning! 

      We left Morocco at 2 AM. Tears were shed by many, others were quiet and contemplative. We all felt the loss and separation anxiety caused by unexpected changes in our plans. To bid us farewell, our wonderful friend and training director, Tondi, came saying that he had told many volunteers good-bye but never like this. He knew it was over.  Several people had been in their Niger village for eighteen month, others including Dave and me, for as few as 8 days. No matter which time frame, we were all processing the separation from a dream and from Niger as we boarded the bus from our hotel and took off on return  flights to the United States

        What a journey the past 3 months had been for us--first to Philadelphia to meet our fellow Peace Corps trainees, then to Niamey, Niger for training, followed by official Peace Corps swearing in at the residence of the US Ambassador to the Republic of Niger. Soon after that, we were quickly installed into our  villages only
to be swiftly removed in a perfectly executed though abrupt evacuation to safety in Morocco. As strange and naive as it sounds, most of us felt safe in our small rural villages. We knew our villagers would protect us and never anticipated any terrorist to attempt anything harmful out in the bush. We knew, though, that Niamey was unsafe, that an important election was coming up soon and there were times when Peace Corps volunteers had to enter the city for meetings and other reasons.

             Now we were flying from Casablanca, Morocco to Frankfurt, Germany and splitting up as each volunteer took different flights to their home of record. Many of the younger volunteers were enroute o their parent's home to await new assignments. While they voiced reservations about having to return home, dependent on parents again,  we felt ambivalent about being "boomerang" parents, now relying on our adult children to host us for an indefinite period of time. We are grateful to our son and daughter-in-law for putting us up and look forward to a stay with our daughter soon. We have left new found friends--Carolyn, Taj, Qamar, Daniel, Jeff, Jori, Allison (3), Shelly, Shelby, Joseph, Jacob, Ashley, Elizabeth,Katelyn, Cassie,  Isis--to name only a few. We will miss the staff with whom we worked and trained--Valerie, Janelle, Tondi, Walter, Soulemayne, Ouessini, Djibo and more. Each of these people have different dreams and perspectives on what they hope to do with the life they are living. We all move again into the unknown and unexpected. We personally believe if we can survive and pass the test of Peace Corps service in Niger, even for a short time, that  we can do anything!

                As Johnny Cash sang in the Kristopherson song,
                   "Let's just be glad we had some time to spend together,
                    There's no need to watch the bridges that we're burning.
    We all now await our next opportunity. Each of us learned so much from these experiences and will hopefully use that knowledge as we seek and accept or refuse invitations to our next Peace Corps post.
Kala ton ton --Zarma for see you later....................Judy and Dave

THE CALL----A Continuing Story

Evacuation was definitely a curve in the road Dave and I had not expected, but it could have been worse. We had only been in our village one week so relationships had not been firmed up as they had with other volunteers who’d served for 6 months or 1 ½ years. These mostly young people were even more affected emotionally than we were. We were bummed by the idea of the AQIM and other unsavory types of people who perpetrate crimes toward others being able to disrupt our dream of service in the Peace Corps. We were saddened by the separation which was ahead for our Stage of fellow Peace Corps volunteers. We were concerned for the people of Niger who were losing the support of Peace Corps volunteers and other NGO workers who had a presence in their country for years. Personally, we were concerned because we were basically now “homeless”. Our plans were to finish 27 months of service with the Peace Corps and then to re-evaluate our life’s direction at that time. If our service is now interrupted for a lengthy period of time we will need to re-examine our commitment and responsibilities and figure out what to do, while we hang out somewhere. (Look out¸ Chris and Dottie and Flora!! We may be headed your way.)

During the tightly run transition conference our group had ample time to see parts of Rebat, Morocco, including a historic fort dating back to pre-Roman times. Many people got their first glimpse of the Atlantic Ocean with its crashing wave, blue water and full moon overhead. The Madina Market was a shopper’s paradise and many volunteers took advantage of great buys in shoes, wood products, pashmina, and other items to take as gifts to those at home. The bottom line though is that we had all suffered a loss and were going through the steps of resolving that loss in our own way. Dave and I will be returning to the US to await a new assignment so that we can complete our commitment to Peace Corps service. Others will be leaving immediately for posts needing their technical and language skills right away. Another group of people will be taking advantage of a new Peace Corps program, expedited return to service, just created during this large evacuation of volunteers. These lucky PCV’s will be leaving for their posts in a relatively short time and were selected due to very specific country requests matched with their qualifications and interests.

So, how do we feel about this evacuation? We agree with the decision made by the Peace Corps Bureau and are grateful for their concern about volunteer safety and security. We understand the complexity of placing couples with differing skills and resumes. We can’t help but be disappointed that our volunteer service has been suspended for the time being, but we are still determined to pursue the next challenge and future assignment with the Peace Corps.

A majority of our group will leave for the Casablanca Airport tonight and will then fly to varying destinations, enroute to new challenges and opportunities in new countries. Many of us will have the time back in the US to re-group before receiving new assignments. Other brave members of our Stage will leave directly from Morocco for posts readily available. Wherever each of us chooses to go, we will be going to continue our service in the name of peace. Please stay tuned……………………………..our journey is definitely not over.

Judy and Dave